You likely have certain values that you feel are fundamental to who you are.
Or maybe you don’t. Maybe you used to believe in certain values or ideals, but the school of hard knocks taught you to think otherwise.
When we’re strong, we feel like our values are inviolate, that they could never change, but our lives are filled with events that threaten to change us fundamentally if we give them the wrong meaning. Tragedy can make us doubt the existence of good. Violence against us can make us doubt our own worth and damage our ability to trust. Misfortune can make us feel lost and hopeless.
If we’re lucky, these events are infrequent, but their rarity can catch us unprepared, and it can make them feel more important than they really are. For a while we can feel dark emotions, like vengeance, jealousy, rage, or hopelessness that make us think we’ve changed fundamentally.
It’s those times when we need to be vigilant. We need to actively remind ourselves who we are and what we stand for. We need to allow our values help us though the hard times rather than abandoning them when we need them most. Our values don’t automatically change because of what happens to us, we allow events to change us.
Take the time now to write down the values that matter most to you. Or, if you need to, take time to remember the values you used to believe in, and invite yourself to have the courage to believe in them again. Your values might include family, generosity, kindness, or any of hundreds of other things. Keep your list close for times when you need to be reminded.
We have to keep vigilant.
We can’t assume that values that seem inviolate now will stay that way.
