This is an expansion of the “Finding the want” article.
When you say “I have to”, you mean
- You don’t really enjoy it, BUT
- Not doing it will result in a consequence that you want to avoid OR doing it will result in a benefit that you want to gain
If I don’t go to work, I won’t get paid, or more optimistically, if I do go to work, I’ll get paid!
You can look at it as a matrix:
Quadrant 1 is easy in that I both want to do it and I enjoy it. For my son, playing video games is a good example.
Quadrant 4 is also easy in that I don’t enjoy it and don’t want to do it. For me, getting in a bar fight would be an example.
Quadrant 2 is a bit tricky. I think eating ice cream would be a good example. I enjoy it, but I don’t want to do it too much.
Quadrant 3 is where I think there is the most confusion. I want to do it, but I don’t enjoy it.
Quadrants 2 and 3 are at the heart of self-discipline.
