What does it mean to say you’re broken?
Of course, that’s complicated. I certainly don’t know the whole answer, but I think there is something to be learned from the metaphor that’s invoked.
To be “broken” or “shattered”, something has to be a solid. Liquids and gasses don’t break. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we use the same metaphor for our thinking. Rigid thinking is locked in place. Solid. It cannot easily accommodate new ideas. If we’re wrong about something and reality can’t be ignored, then it slams against the rigid mind and forces it to change. It shatters the crystalline structure, leaving a sense of chaos and loss.
If you’ve decided that you’re going to spend the rest of your life with someone and suddenly they’re gone, it can leave you broken. If you look up to someone as a hero and they betray you, you might feel shattered.
The alternative is to try to keep your thinking fluid. Allow yourself to entertain the idea that people rarely stay together forever and that one day you may not be together. Accept that no person is perfect and that heroes are fleeting, often returning to being flawed humans more quickly than we would like.
That might sound cynical, but having a realistic view of the world doesn’t require that you be a pessimist. It means accepting that we don’t always have control over the things that affect us.
We like certainty, but life rarely gives it. Building uncertainty into your thinking makes your mind better able to handle the times we discover we’re wrong.
